Why “More Isn’t Better” When It Comes to Exercise in Midlife
By Ashley Basilio, Certified Fitness Trainer & Menopause Health Coach, Founder of Get Fit With Ashley
For most of our lives, we’ve been taught that when something isn’t working, the answer is to try harder. Work harder. Push more. Do more. That message is everywhere, even when it comes to exercise.
And honestly? For a long time, that approach worked for many of us. It certainly did for me. In my 30s and early 40s, I could stack workouts, push through fatigue, and bounce back without giving it much thought. If I felt stressed, I worked out harder. If I wanted results, I turned up the intensity.
I remember about 10 years ago teaching one of my group classes, one of the students jokingly said “What’s next Ash? Handstand pushups with scorpions attacking us?” We all laughed it off. And secretly I felt cool for being such a tough instructor.
💜 When the Old Rules Stop Working
But somewhere along the way (in my mid-late 40’s), that stopped feeling good. It wasn’t only because it started feeling unattainable, but it also felt undesirable. What I’m saying is that not only would I have a hard time doing that same workout today, but I don’t even want to.
For many women in midlife, this realization doesn’t come with a big announcement. It shows up quietly. You notice you’re more sore than usual. You feel wiped out instead of energized. Your sleep starts to suffer. Your patience feels thinner. The workouts that once made you feel strong now feel like just another thing you have to survive.
This isn’t a motivation problem. And it’s not a sign that you’re “letting yourself go” or getting “lazy” (dang, I hate when women say that about themselves). What it is is physiology.
Hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause affect how your body recovers from stress, repairs muscle, manages inflammation, and regulates energy. When you layer intense workouts on top of busy lives, emotional labor, caregiving, work stress, disrupted sleep and hormone changes, the body can start to feel like it’s constantly in overdrive.
And with all this going on, pushing harder doesn’t lead to better results. It leads to fast burnout (or worse, injury).
😖 The Emotional Toll of “More, Harder, Faster”
One of the things I see most often with the women I work with is how emotionally loaded exercise has become. If they can’t fit in a full workout, they feel like they’ve failed. If they miss a week, guilt creeps in. On a Wednesday I hear them already saying “Ugh, I just can’t this week... I’ll start over Monday.” And if results don’t come quickly, frustration takes over. Exercise becomes another place where we’re judging ourselves instead of supporting ourselves.
I’ve been there too. I’ve had moments where I caught myself wondering why something that used to feel empowering now feels draining. And questioning whether I just wasn’t trying hard enough anymore. Why can’t I drop and do 100 pushups at a moment’s notice anymore?
What I eventually realized (and now help my clients see) is that those thoughts were rooted in outdated expectations. Expectations that no longer matched the body I was living in.
💕 What Actually Helps in Midlife
The biggest shift happens when we stop treating exercise like something to conquer and start treating it like something to partner with.
In midlife, movement works best when it:
Supports your nervous system instead of overstimulating it
Builds and protects muscle without burning you out
Fits realistically into your life
Leaves you feeling better, not depleted
This is where strength training (when done thoughtfully) becomes incredibly powerful. Not for aesthetics, but for resilience and longevity. Walking, mobility work, and lower-impact movement stop being “less than” and start being exactly what your body needs. Recovery becomes part of the plan, not something you earn after exhaustion.
🎖️ Doing Less — But Doing It Well
Some of the strongest, most capable women I work with aren’t working out for an hour every day. Heck, I’m a fitness trainer, group instructor and I create YouTube workouts, and I definitely don’t work out every day, nor do I ever workout for an hour at a time, nor do I want to.
Women who are doing it well are embracing the “all or something” and doing “something” most days of the week. Maybe it’s strength training 2-4 times a week, taking walks, stretching, and paying attention to how they feel rather than chasing how tired they can make themselves.
They sleep better. Their energy is steadier. Their bodies feel more capable in everyday life. They’re not hung up on long, strenuous workouts that leave them exhausted and sore for days.
And perhaps most importantly, they stop comparing themselves to who they were 10 or 20 years ago. Midlife asks us to let go of that comparison and redefine what success looks like now.
💪 Redefining Success with Exercise
Success in midlife isn’t crushing every workout. It’s feeling steady in your body. It’s having energy for your life. It’s trusting yourself again. It’s choosing consistency over intensity and care over punishment.
Midlife isn’t a failure of discipline or motivation. It’s a transition that calls for a different approach. It requires listening, adapting, responding and accepting with intention.
You don’t need to always do more to be healthy. You don’t need to punish your body to feel strong. And you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. What you need is an approach that honors where you are now — one that helps you feel capable, steady, and supported in your body for the long run.
That’s not doing less. That’s doing what’s right. 💛
About the Author
Ashley Basilio is the creator of Get Fit With Ashley and StrongHER Together, a supportive wellness community for women navigating midlife and beyond. A certified Personal Trainer, Health Coach, Group Fitness Instructor, and Menopause Health Coach Specialist, Ashley blends evidence-based education with real-life experience to help women build strength, confidence, and sustainable habits. She also shares free, accessible workouts through her YouTube channel, and hosts the StrongHER Voices podcast, where she creates space for honest conversations, learning, and connection to help women thrive through every stage of life.
